Poetry in Motion: Why I Love Pendles

by amac12

I don’t think that Anthony Hudson is a bad commentator, but he’s not my favourite. However, I did enjoy his description of Scott Pendlebury’s (Pendles) 3rd goal on Saturday as “poetry in slow motion”. It’s not the most well constructed phrase, as poetry usually doesn’t travel at any particular pace, but the essence of the expression was that the piece of play was a) beautiful and b) at a tempo slower than the game is usually played. It really does sum up the way in which Pendles plays his football. Beautifully and slowly. At high school we’d always comment in our lunch time soccer games how our friend Matija always had “time on the ball”. “He’s got time on the ball”, Boob always used to say. And it was true. It just seemed as if he had more time than anyone else out there. A little step here, a shimy there, and he was out of trouble and making the perfect pass. Pendles is the same. I know this isn’t a new observation, in fact it’s been done to death. “It’s obviously his basketball background”, a commentator would always say. It’s well publicised that Paddy Mills took the AIS scholarship that Pendles turned down to play footy. I think it’s worked out well for both of them and that’s nice. I’m just glad Pendles chose footy because he’s brought me and every other Collingwood supporter so much joy and so little disappointment.

Pendles was pick 5 in the 2005 draft. Picks 1 and 2 that year were Marc Murphy and Dale Thomas. 3 was Xavier Ellis and 4 Josh Kennedy (FWD). Other top 10 highlights included Beau Dowler (6) and Jarrad Oakley-Nicholls (8). Who the hell was Hawthorn’s recruiting manager that year? Jesos. Picks 3 and 6 and you get the After Dark Specialist and Beau Dowler. Anyway, it’s clear now that the 20:20 hindsight draft would have Pendles as a streets ahead of the rest pick 1. (Thomas, Pendles and X were all from Gippsland Power. In what parallel universe was Xavier Ellis EVER better at footy, at any stage of his life, than Scott Pendlebury?) He made is debut in 2006 in the Brisbane game where Bucks went forward and kicked 6 of the most sexual goals you will ever see. I didn’t remember this until they showed it last week, but he kicked a goal with his first kick, from a set shot no less!

It wasn’t until the away game in Sydney in 2006 when he really came to mine and my fellow Collingwood Brother Nick’s attention. We had no chance going into that game. Our entire defence was Shane Wakelin and a very, very young Tyson Goldsack. Sydney were set to dominate. At a crucial stage in the last quarter when the Swans were on the march, the ball was in dispute in the middle. Paul Williams got it and Pendles just stole it from him. It was amazing.

It was an incredible piece of play for such a young player. It was then that we knew we had someone special.

He played a blinder in the extra time semi-final in 2007 against West Coast in Perth, and late in extra time Marty Clarke kicked the ball into space inside 50, and Pendles stormed away to kick the sealer. It may have been the first time I screamed “I love you, Pendles”. It certainly wouldn’t be the last.

I love Pendles because you can always count on him to play well. I can remember 2 poor games he’s had. One was 2 weeks ago against Richmond. The other was the first 2010 Grand Final when he’d had gastro all week and had lost 5kgs in the process. The next week in the replay, he won the Norm Smith. Enough said.

I love Pendles because he kicks sexy goals like this one, on the run from 50m. He kicked an extremely similar goal to get us going in the game against Adelaide last year (which we ended up losing, but it was still a good goal).

Sometimes, he even kicks them on his right.

I love Pendles because he is a leader that leads by example by being the best, all the time. It’s critical that with our group of young up and coming players, they have a leader to look up to who is the best player at the club and has played 200 games of exquisite football. 

(what about that goal from about 1:00)

I love Pendles because he’s fucking boring and all he does is hang our with his ludicrously hot fiance and his lovely Labrador, Lenni. Dead set, the guy is best mates with Jason Gram and he goes for the Lakers. How much more dull can you get?

I love Pendles because he’s a Labor man.

I love Pendles because it’s really fun at the footy to say “ohh, Pendles!” with the emphasis on the “Pen!”. Maybe you’ve got to be there.

I love him, I want to Boof him, get him up here. I’ll leave you with this.